wtf internet?!?

Apr 16

potatoandotherwise:

swanqueenandrizzles:

tarclis:

my sisters dad opened the freezer and a blob of ice fell on his foot and hurt him and he was like yelling and hopping and shit and I was like hey maybe you should put some ice on that

my sisters dad

there is a such thing as half-siblings hello

Apr 16

can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do

Apr 16

untexting:

some people’s selfie game is so strong that makes me feel uncomfortable

Apr 16

spork:

officialunitedstates:

FACT OF THE NIGHT:  owls are the smartest birds, able to speak over 22 bird languages.  most owls graduated top of their class at bird school, which is for birds

are you fucking high

Apr 16

unclemother:

if you have a good singing voice there’s a 300% chance I will fall in love with you

Apr 16
Apr 16
Apr 16

bitch-about-it:

My sister forgot how to say “turn up the volume” so she said “zoom in on the sound”

Apr 16
Apr 16

whoatakeiteasyman:

no mom, do not ask that relative if they want to talk to me next on the phone.